even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
