Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
