Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
