i think my tv is drunk
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
