And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
