ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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