dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
