i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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