He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I am naked and annoyed.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
