I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
