So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
