Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Four minutes until I can fart!
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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