i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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