cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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