I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
