she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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