Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
