I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
