Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
