it was like fucking gandolphs beard
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
