That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
