In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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