i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize