i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
