i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
