Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
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