You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize