Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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