There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize