Are we in a gay sports bar?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize