franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
