After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
