I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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