Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
