Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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