i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize