You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
