I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
