I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
ttyl tear gas
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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