is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
