proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
