Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
