Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
