well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
