Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Randomize
