i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
