So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
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