id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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