the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize