when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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