yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
