I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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