What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Randomize
