the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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