Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
