I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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