at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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