If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
