Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Randomize
