Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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