i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
