do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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