The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
