I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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