This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize