We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
