I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
