Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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