Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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