Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I need water and some morals
Randomize
