Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
