we're chasing vodka with high fives
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
