she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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