We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
