You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
