Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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