Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
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