3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
