At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
