My brain says no but my pants say off.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
