Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
