You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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