i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
