Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
